Unspoken
Darman looked at Aliyah and said. “I don’t know when I will see you again.. and I don’t like that”. She looked at him and blinked her eyes repeatedly as she could feel tears welled.
“And if we do, I think I will not be the same again” he continued and leaned back, shutting his eyes.
“It’s okay, we’ll never know. Well, we might or we might not see each other”. She tried to sound rather calm about it but she knew she was lying. It was the last day when she took him to the train station. He came to visit Somerset as he had a business meeting nearby.
She was ecstatic to know that he was coming and thought about where they would go and what to do for the three days he was there. She even booked a place for him to stay, knowing that would make things easier for him. He did not drive as it was faster to go by train and she even promised to pick him up to take him to Stella Lodge, the place she booked a week before. They had not seen each other for nearly six months. He left Somerset for London after accepting a job there. It broke her heart when he told her his decision but she did not say anything. He had never said anything to her about his feeling but she knew he must have felt something for her. For the constant text messages he sent her and the silence she had if she told him she was going out with her friends having fun. Jealousy? When that happened she thought of lying to him, telling him she was only having a quiet night in, reading books or watching movies because she hated the silent treatment. She hated looking at the phone every second to see if she had any messages in.
She could not spend a day without thinking about him. He was everywhere, in a song, on television, on the road and even in the books she was reading. But she never told him. She kept it quiet because she thought it was for the best. He would be angry if she did not send him a message in the morning, thinking something was wrong. She thought that by sending him messages everyday, she would appear desperate and she did not want him to fall for her just because she sent him messages. Sometimes, they were both confused on what they wanted. They both hated the silence but they both did not want to admit the emptiness they felt when one of them kept quite for a while.
He got out of the car. She signalled to him that she opened the car boot for him to take his luggage. She did not dare looking into his eyes. She knew he cried. She saw the tears but she did not know what to do. She was crying inside. She saw him walking to the back of the car to take his luggage. Then he sat back down on the passenger seat and looked at her. She forced a weak smiled and said “Bye, I’ll see you again okay”. He closed his eyes and leaned back again. “This is not fair”, he muttered under his breath. She sighed but pretended to be strong about it and said “Yeah..well..but you still have to go. I won’t go anywhere. You know where to find me”. Silence. Nobody said anything. They both stared at the windshield, in their own thoughts.
After a while he stood up and said “Okay, let me know when you reach home”. He grabbed his luggage that he put on the ground. “You too, take care” she said and swallowed hard. He closed the door and waved at her. She nodded her head and mouthed ‘bye’ to him. He walked towards the train station and she started to reverse to get out of the car park. She was on the verge of tears looking at him walking away. She sobbed silently while driving out of the car park, wishing she had said something to him to make him stay.
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